When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
