xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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