My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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