I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
