I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
