time to smoke my breakfast
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
