Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Slut skills are useful in every country.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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