Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize