i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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