Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
