Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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