He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
