Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
