I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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