While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
