What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
