Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
