No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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