You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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