I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
