I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
