Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
