I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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