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I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
