She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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