worst night to have a conscience
I checked into jail on foursquare
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
