I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
