i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
