Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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