I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
