You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize