carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
