There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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