OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
