If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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