p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
