So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
