Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
