Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
