I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
