I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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