I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize