we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
