therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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