We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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