I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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