he shaved USA in his pubs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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