You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize