farters have to be the big spoon...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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