is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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