So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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