So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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