if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
