Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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