When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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