i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
