weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
