Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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