Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
