I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
