need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
