so explain again why im purple
no
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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