Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
