yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
